This is, unfortunately, a true story related to me by a relative who made hajj some years ago. The story goes like this:
Among the men in the group, there was a man who, for whatever reason was unaware that the two unstitched cloths of ihram for men were just that and nothing else. He never realized that ihram meant no underwear. Try as they might to reason with him, the other men were unsuccessful in pursuading the man to wear his ihram. The brother flatly refused to make his hajj if it meant going without his underwear. So while everyone else in the group went on, this man spent the entire time in the hotel and never made hajj.
Now, it could be that the man had incontinence issues that he did not want to discuss. That is unfortunate, because Allah is merciful and exception is made for persons with such health problems. He may have missed hajj because he was embarrassed. But embarrassment is not a good reason to miss out on Allah’s mercy.
If the issue was modesty, it is well for any man who has such concerns to address them before leaving for hajj by making sure he can put his ihram on properly and move around in it without accidents. Practice wearing the ihram at home in order to get comfortable standing, sitting on chairs and floor, rising and walking in it.
But do not mistake arrogance for embarrassment or modesty. We do not know better than Allah concerning the duties and rites that He has decreed for us to observe. Nor should any of us attempt to choose or reject the tests that Allah gives each of us individually during hajj.
Remember that all the women on hajj know what you’re wearing (and not wearing) and the women don’t care about you. They are trying, struggling, praying to get through the rites of hajj themselves.
Be mindful of the modesty of women on hajj as well. It does no good, in the effort to make your own hajj, to breach the etiquettes of modesty of others.
